


The Invention of Love

by Patrickbrewerissupergay



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: AU, M/M, au in which love didn't exist until david met patrick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:27:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22071013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patrickbrewerissupergay/pseuds/Patrickbrewerissupergay
Summary: Love didn't exist until two men shook hands in a real estate office.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	The Invention of Love

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while I had iron poisoning and was not fully awake and will probably not write anymore of it, but I wanted to show my foolishness to my friends.

It may be difficult to imagine, though again it may not be, a world in which love is not a widely-accepted concept. It is not a word that is unheard of, nor is it an emotion unfelt, but the mention of love is received more like a religious tale or a bedtime story. Love is, simply put, a word which is not spoken in any sort of serious manner. If a parent loves their child, a child loves their parent, a friend loves their friend, or even in the rare occasion a spouse loves their spouse, they will use words like “fond” or “care” and never words like “love.” Love is not a serious thing. Love is not real. How can it be in this cruel world? After all, every wise person says the best decisions made in history were ruled from the head rather than the heart, and if love is real at all, it simply serves no purpose but to distract, destroy, and otherwise deplete any chances of long-term happiness. 

In this same world, imagine that if two people choose to spend their lives together, they do so not out of a desire to be close to one another for as long as possible, but because procreation is a normal human function and it only makes sense to pick someone who can serve that purpose. Imagine a world in which couples may still enjoy sex and each other’s presence, but in which there are no long-term commitments if there is no possibility of children. There is no law against marrying for other reasons, but there is also no perceived purpose for marriage aside from this practical one, and so it is that in the history of marriage, divorce rates are under twenty percent globally. When the marriages that end in divorce do end up that way, it is known to be, without fail, that one or the other attempted to involve some aspect related to love.

This is the world in which our story takes place.

In this world, Johnny Rose married his wife, Moira, because she was beautiful. He thought they would make beautiful children together, and he was right. Their daughter, Alexis, has used the beauty she inherited from her mother to take a number of men from all around the world on a journey to fight for the opportunity to marry her. Alexis, however, not enamored in the slightest with the idea of motherhood, allowed herself to bask in the joys of being a single, beautiful woman with lovers on every continent. David, the spitting image of his father, grew to be an exceptionally lovely young man as well, also with partners around the world, also with no desire to have children. The elder Roses were, thankfully, always supportive of their children’s choices, but when they lost their fortune practically overnight and found themselves struggling to survive in a town thousands of miles from home with almost nothing to their name, it was decided that one day, for the sake of practicality, both Rose children would need to marry into money, and by default, would need to commit to the idea of having children so as to hold on to their fortune, rebuild their lives, and eventually reclaim all the wonderful things they’d lost.

Our story begins just about two years after they moved to Schitt’s Creek. Alexis has recently found a young man of means, a veterinarian named Ted, whom the family has agreed would be a suitable life partner for her to grow a family with if she should ever change her mind and decide to have children after all, a decision she is still not ready to make. But David, not interested in the slightest in the idea of children, is biding his time as he tries to think of another way to come into money that doesn’t involve his giving up his desire to do what he wants when he wants and with whom he wants.

And so it is that he has decided to open a general store.


End file.
